c101: May 2006 Archives

Guess what y'all? There are pyramids in them hills. At least that is what Semir Osmanagic thinks - wanna know where? Bosnia. Apparently, the war torn country has more to offer than mass graves and genocide.

"What I know is that under that soil is the most magnificent construction project on the face of the planet. We have the greatest pyramids ever built right here in Bosnia. It is confirmed. All of the scientific evidence confirms this," he said.

Osmanagic, 45, thinks there are at least three ancient pyramids hidden in them hills of Visoko. He has named them Sun, Moon and Dragon. Professional archaeologists think Osmanagic is crazier than a shit-house rat, but he, of course, is undaunted.

"I'm not part of their establishment. So, all of a sudden, the biggest discovery in the history of archeology is made by an outsider. Jealousy is part of human nature, especially in a small country like Bosnia," he said with a shrug.

Anti-establishment wanna-be Indian Jones from Bosnia. I love it. So has he found anything? Well... in recent weeks, Osmanagic's diggers have uncovered what may or may not be evidence of human construction along the hill's flanks, not exactly proof of anything earth-shattering because the top of the hill contains the well-documented ruins of a 12th Century fortress and relics of the Illyrian Iron Age.

Last week the excitement grew when Ali Barakat, a member of the Egyptian National Geological Survey, visited the Visoko site at Osmanagic's invitation. Barakat said that a polished stone slab unearthed near the top of the hill was evidence of some kind of human construction.

Could it be a pyramid? "Yes, maybe it could be," Barakat said. That's all I need.

This kind of reminds me of those Choose Your Own Adventure Books? Who cares if all the professionals are ney sayers, I'm going down that dark alley. Of course, I always cheated and paged ahead when it came to decision making time - Do you want to end up dangling out a window with a 9-foot tall snake waiting or A-rabs with machine guns on camels co-chillin' on the street? And don't forget the aliens. Sorry charlie, but I wanted the treasure.

Anyway, since the warm summer air has at long-last arrived, let's rok some hot isht. Here's Har Mar Superstar doing "One Dirty Minute" and Henry Mancini making that things swing with "Something for Cat."

Okay, well, let's all think Linwood for that little digression down Drug Way. Thank you, Linwood. Let's return to love making and those other three positions. I told you I wouldn't forget...

4. Rear Entrance (or "dog fashion") - My favorite. Sorry. "This position is apparently favored by primates and early Greeks. It is also rejected by many Americans because of its 'animal origins' and lack of face-to-face intimacy." OK, then. The advantages include allowing for manual stimulation of the clitoris and exciting for men who are turned on by the female buttocks. Yum. It is also good for males with small penises and women with large vaginas. A match made in heaven. Speaking of a match made in heaven and dog fashion, pictured is what happens when you google images under the search of doggy. Wow.

5. Sitting - This was used by nine percent of married women and was learned by "making out" in the back seats of cars. Advantages include clitoral contact with the male body and it's good for our pre-mature ejaculators as well. Sounds like a win-win to yours truly. Of course the disadvantages listed include 'does not allow for vigorous thrusting and yet, sometimes tiring.' That's rich.

6.Standing - "Has echoes of quickie against alley wall with a prostitute, therefore exciting." Holy isht, did I mention my book of lists book is the best ever? Advantages include "allowing caressing and can flow from dancing and taking a shower" Disadvantages are that it does not allow for much thrusting.

I feel smarter, I know y'all do too. Let's rok some Tosca "Zuri" and one of the classic hip-hop tunes of all time "Peter Piper" from RUN D.M.C.

I enjoy assignments. If left to my own devices, I compose stories on Deros and Death Clocks, which I am sure are mildly entertaining, but mostly my readers are prolly wondering what in the hell is going on with yours truly. That said, let's take Linwood's assignment and learn about Salvia divinorum (SD).

Turns out this stuff might be cool to try and it's legal, so you better jump on the SD wagon while you can. Anyway, SD is a soft-leaved green plant, native to Southern Mexico, which contains a powerful psychoactive chemical known as Salvinorin. SD has been used traditionally in Mexico for healing and divination and became available in the underground psychedelic culture around the world starting in the early 1990's.

SD is also known as "la pastora" / "the shepherdess", "the leaves of the shepherdess", "diviner's mint" or "diviner's sage", and in context simply as "Dalvia". There are many species and varieties within the genus 'Salvia' and plants commonly found in garden stores are almost certainly not SD unless specifically labelled as such.

Strong effects can be difficult to attain from smoking dried leaf, but extracts and potency-bred leaves can cause dramatic, sometimes frightening hallucinations. Hmmm.... Many people who try SD do not find the effects at all pleasant and choose not to repeat the experience.

SD is traditionally used by chewing pairs of leaves. Modern use includes both smoking and chewing the leaves. When the leaves are chewed, the quid and bitter juice are held in the mouth to increase absorption.

So, the real question, mi amigos, is should SD be tried? It is prudent to venture places our brain chemicals do not want us to go? How far can you go and still come back? Did you see the size of that chicken? Do you hear the Deros too? I think we all ask that question and we all have obstructions. Which leads me to my next post on the five obstructions. Stay tuned. Oh yeah, I have forgotten about the other three positions. Oh no.

As for music, let's listen to Jose Gonzalez "Heartbeats" this goes out to a lil' Soupy. And let's rok one of my favorite down-tempo tunes from one of my favorite down-tempo artists, here's "Rise", from Nightmares on Wax.