c101: November 2005 Archives

I am convinced that the United States government has a weather machine. How else to explain the amazing rash of natural disasters this year? It couldn't possibly be because despite all of our technological advances and our continued willingness to try and separate ourselves from all other animals, we cannot figure out good 'ol mother nature. Nope, it's a weather machine.

Cobra tried to create one, but luckily G.I. Joe foiled their reassembly attempts. Disaster averted, that time. So maybe it wasn't the U.S. or Cobra, but instead the Japanese Yakuza stole a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to cause Hurricane Katrina in a bid to avenge the Hiroshima atom bomb attack - at least that is what my dog/meteorologist Scott Stevens thinks. Check out his blog - death rays and all sorts of isht, makes a c101 shudder.

Stevens is among many people to offer alternative and generally discounted theories on Katrina. Stevens thinks that a little-known oversight in physical laws makes it possible to create and control storms

First and foremost, please forgive my neglect in writing this past week. I could blame the tumultuous life and times of a freelance writer, but that really is no excuse. The good part is, in my little break, I have had time to think.

Today I would like to talk about a phenomenon that I have noticed happening with utmost frequency as of late - our collective subconscious bond to things. I know that is a bit obtuse, but this is tough to explain. I will use examples, those always help.

How about right when you park your car and the song you were listening to ends as well? Or how about when you are talking to someone and the TV seems to provide a humorous comment right at a pause in your conversation that leaves you wondering who is listening? I suppose I am referring to the human ability to reach into the nether regions and connect with the world we cannot see, but feel.

Are these intangibles insights into another dimension? Or are these little tidbits provided for us, just as a teaser, letting us all know in a very small but real way that so much more awaits after this life?

That said, let's listen to some tracks off a mix VS made awhile back - The Unicorns "Sea Ghost" and Bright Eyes "Sunrise, Sunset."

Sunrise, Sunset

Don't know why, but today I woke up thinking about cartoons. I would also bet big money (no whammies) that all of you had the same Saturday ritual I had - wake up at the ass crack of dawn and watch cartoons until Dungeons & Dragons went off the air at 11:30 a.m.

I really wish I remembered my line up, but I know it involved Bugs Bunny, Gummi Bears, Scooby Doo, Captain Caveman, Thundarr the Barbarian and Superfriends to name a few. Then we got cable and Cartoon Express on USA was a god send.

I guess I was thinking about cartoons because I just read this story in The Reader about the fella that draws The Boondocks, Aaron McGruder. The Boondocks is a popular and subversive comic strip that will soon be appearing on Adult Swim. McGruder is one of only a few prominent African-American cartoonists and has been making waves by poking conspicuous fun at Trent Lott, the N.R.A. and the war effort. His comic strip has characters with Afros and dreadlocks drawn in a style borrowing heavily from Japanese manga with accentuated foreheads and eyes. Good stuff, check it out.

Also, please watch a creepy Anime short I found on one of my favorite Holland blogs - "Fallen Art." I think the fella that made this one also had some things to say about the idea of war.

Fallen Art

And last, Dr. Bone dropped "Let it Bone" last week and it roks. So, here are a couple of my early favorites, though that is likely to change with each listen. Let's listen to Super Furry Animals "A Touch Sensitive" (Aren't we all?) and TV On The Radio "Satellite."

Satellite

Sensitive

Anybody out there watch Fox's genius show "Trading Spouses?" I hope so, because you are going to like this post. The producers of the show thought it would be funny to pit a holy roller from the south against a New England liberal. And while I only managed to see the startling conclusion, I know I saw the best part.

A little background - Chris and Jeanne were the New England liberals and Marguerite Perin was said big, dumpy mess of a holy roller. After her return to her own family, Marguerite proceeded to regale her family with tales of the "dark-sided" New Englander's and how she was a "warrior for God."

So, today I thought I would visit Fox's message boards and see what the masses had to say. Sad part is, there were many empathising with Big M's plight. Shoot me now, please. Then to my awe, I found that God also pays attention to the message boards and had this to say...

Dear Chris and Jeanne and children,

Please note I wish to apologize on behalf of myself, my trinity and my staff here in heaven for any anxiety, stress, social embarrassment and damage to the struts and shocks of your family vehicle caused by our warrior, Marguerite Perin.

Based on her actions, we have suspended her pearly-gate pass and have sanctioned her. If, however, she completes a Louisiana state certified psychological assessment and follows the recommended treatment, we will allow her to attend one of our houses of worship. Perhaps.

Until then, we have stressed to her that she not appear in any of our 10 million franchise locations. Also, if you have any sustained damage to your furniture or load bearing beams in your home, as well as the above mentioned vehicle, please submit damage estimates to our billing department for reimbursement.

In addition, we would like to offer your family one additional 24 hour summer solstice special for next year. Your solstice will last 48 hours. We will also provide soft warm breezes and a spectacular sun rise and sun set for your enjoyment, as well as a cloudless starry night.

Again, we apologize for this unfortunate event. Please be assured if Ms. Perrin contacts you again, we will immediately zap her with a lightening bolt.

Sincerely Yours,

God Almighty

P.S. - Did you know I love to rok Cypress Hill's "How I Can Just Kill a Man" and Jay-Z's "99 problems?" Well, I do.

How I Can Just Kill a Man

99 Problems

A double entendre title for this post if there ever was one, me thinks. It has recently come to my attention that a group of civic minded Pennsylvania girls were offended by two controversial T-shirts made by Abercrombie & Fitch. So much so, our girlies decided to boycott (excuse me girlcott) the clothier. And boy-oh-boy were said girlies successful. So much so, that said clothier pulled the controversial T-shirts.

Alexis Papalia, 14, one of the Pennsyltucky girls, had this to say..."Like, we want to replace the old ones, with, like, better new ones." Atta girl, Alexis.

This isn't the first time that A&F has gotten itself in hot water over T-shirts. In 2002, A&F thought it prudent to feature caricatured faces with slanted eyes and a rice-paddy hat saying, "Wong Brothers Laundry Service -- Two Wongs Can Make It White," on a T-shirt. Beside the prominent lettering are two smiling figures in conical hats harking back to 1900s popular-culture depictions of Chinese men.

"We personally thought Asians would love this T-shirt," said Hampton Carney, a PR fella representing A&F at the time. Shocking that Asian folks didn't, Hampton. Hampton? Where is Blaine? I digress.

What did the T-shirts say this time around that offended Alexis to her core, you ask? I'll tell ya. One said, "Who Needs Brains When You Have These?" and "All Men Like Tig Old Bitties." At least these were the ones that offended our girlcotters. But this ain't over - oh no.

Seeing a chance to seize the spotlight, Illinois State Senator Steve Rauschenberger introduced a resolution last week calling for A&F to stop marketing and selling offensive T-Shirts as well. Seems our main-man Rausch disapproves of the "Muck Fe" and "You Blow I'll Pop" line of T's. Wow.

Since when did government think it could determine what sort of T-shirt can be sold and what cannot? Oh yeah, all the time.

On that note, let's listen to Broken Social Scene, they have put out a pretty damn good record called You Forgot It In People, you can learn more about the band and buy it here. And because I am so damn nice, you can listen to a couple of tracks...here is "Pacific Theme" and "Lover's Spit". Light and lively, uh-huh.

Pacific Theme

Lover's Spit

Being that I rely on Charlie Rose for most of my current events, I wait for him to talk about something before I really pay attention. Well, Charlie was talking to a phalanx of experts yesterday about the latest scourge - Big Bad Bird Flu (BBBF).

If this sucka morphs, we are screwed...maybe. Apparently, we are supposed to experience a pandemic every 30-35 years. I did not know that. The last few have been jokes, relatively speaking. In fact, every year about 60,000 people in the U.S. succumb to the flu. But, since the majority of yearly deaths are just old people, who cares? Right, Thunderpants?

The most lethal pandemic in recent history was in 1918 when 60 million cashed out. Now, many people may argue modern medicine will see us through BBBF, so even if it does happen, who cares, get a shot. Well, apparently, since this strain doesn't exist yet, we can't create a vaccine for it. At least not until quite a few get clipped. That is, of course, if it even happens. Might just be like Y2K. In the meantime, I will be living in fear.

Or, I won't give a isht and listen to Cake. Just like RFO.

Wheels

Race Car Ya-Yas

More photos of the greatness - Please don't be afraid of Dalton, he won't hurt you too bad...just don't bring up Memphis.

Needless to say, you can tell our All Hallows Eve was a smashing success. We all decided to be a different Swayze character, because he simply is one of the best actors of our time. And because VS saw the President Reagan mask and thought I should be Bodhi - it went from there. VS decided to capture our 5 degrees with the camera on the ground. I will also attach for your viewing pleasure our DVD covers - VS is a true master of Photoshop. I think once again our week beats your year...
1. Roadhouse - Dalton - VS
2. Ghost - Sam - Ernie
3. Chippendale's Dancer from SNL - Jimmy C
4. Dirty Dancing - Johnny - Grease
5. Point Break - Bodhi - c101