There was a gap in my life, but I aim to fill it. A need for a creative outlet. I haven't written in so long, it is disturbing. So, what is a C$ to do? Get back on the horse and gets to riding. So, without further ado...
MJ. Poor, poor MJ. I don't know about the rest of you, but I spent much of my 1983 and 1984 dancing in my living room to 'Billie Jean' off of Thriller. Hell, I even loved the goofy duet of 'The Girl is Mine' with Paul McCartney. There was simply no music that even came close to the music found on Thriller. And I think the argument could be made that there still hasn't been anything that comese close. Thriller just may be the pinnacle of pop and I, for one, will miss the King. Sure, he was freaky and white even though he was really black and had WAY too many plastic surgeries, but c'mon, when you are known in every corner of the world and your steel-working Pa beat the crap out of you, you are going to be a bit odd. MJ was an incredible artist and Off the Wall and Thriller are masterpieces. Simple and plain.
So, please take a few minutes and dwell on the true loss of MJ. Still don't believe me? Check out his performance on Motown 25. It doesn't get cooler than that.Here is 'Rock with You' and 'The Lady in My Life' - say what you want, nobody understood a groove like MJ.
This had to happen. It had to. There was no way around it. And I'll tell you why, in a long, drawn out explanation full of faulty logic and typographical errorz.
I mean, he was working on a comeback. 50 shows in London that all sold out in under three hours. And what were the fans going to get? An hour and a half of some middle aged freak trying to moon walk back to his glory days? Extended costume breaks so MJ could have his nose re-attached 'cause it keeps trying to walk off under it's own synthetic power. He was fucking Fat Elvis. No one wants to see Fat Elvis – the poor man brought down by his insatisable lust for peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. But in this case, it was MJ's inescapable urge to return to his childhood – to right the wrongs of so many nights, laying awake in bed while Tito donkey punched some poor groupie. Try washing that mental image out of your head. And then there was Bubbles! Who gets Bubbles?
It had to end. Don't you see? There's no way MJ could've have comeback. You think the political and socio-economic landscape of this country is depressing? Try forking over 150 quid to see Looney Tunes McGee grabbing at his man areas for two hours.
But this was the proper outcome. Always the showman. Get the crowd hyped up and leave them wanting more. And also steal the spotlight from Farrah. He knew what he was doing, just like when Fat Elvis downed his last PB&Bacon and then hit the head to clear room for more.
MJ built his legacy and did the only thing that would cement his pasty face in our social conscioussness for the rest of eternity – he made some great albums, he went all freaky-deaky and then he checked out just so he could go pump gas in some podunk Ohio town or roll through Burger King drive thrus in Arizona or do whatever it is that dead celebrities are doing when they get spotted by hopped-up meth heads and trailer park mothers while they cruise around the country.
I salute you MJ. Not just for your music or your shrinky-dink nose, but for doing the proper celebrity thing and catching us all off guard. Here's hoping we have many, many more years of strange sightings and tabloid fodder. I'll be keeping my eye on the National Enquirer, just for you . . .
Freshy, first of all sincere thanks for cracking me up this AM and making me look completely crazy to my fellow Purple Line riders as I cackled maniacally at your treatise. And trust me, I don't underestimate the craziness that was MJ. However, I am still saddened over his death because with his death the HOPE of his return to greatness that will forever be dashed - unrealized, if you will. But, you make a strong argument that he really was just a different version of fat Elvis, he just chose to bleach himself and get 400 plastic sugeries and take a crapload of meds. And yes, Spaghetti Monster knows that we would have endured 50,000 crotch grabs and untold number of news stories showing people losing their shit every time MJ performed - no matter if it was crap tastic or truly great. I guess I just chose to dwell on the loss of MJ circa '83 and that truly is sad.
Your HOPE is touching, but ultimately misplaced. There is no way MJ could have reclaimed his greatness. In doing so he would have to completely alter THE MAKING OF A MEGA STAR TIMELINE, thus rendering all laws of time and space irrelevant. Let me break it down
Phase 1: Star is Born. Ages 5-15.
Star emerges, captures the public's heart with cuteness, angelic voice and funny dance moves. At this point in the career the star is being taken advantage of by their parents/handlers. This will later cause resentment and acting out on the part of the star.
Phase 2: Transition. Ages 15-21.
No longer a girl but not yet a man, the star becomes a budding sex symbol as they try to find their sexual identity (or completely distance themselves from said sexuality). At this point, the star will strike out on their own, distancing themselves from their handlers in an attempt to gain independence and make some generally questionable decision in the areas of finance, fashion and relationships. Case in point. MJ taking Brooke Shields and Emmanuel Lewis to the Grammy's. You can roll the mental image of that three-some anytime you feel like it.
Phase 3: Prime Time. Ages 21-33.
As an adult the star finds some stable footing and does what will later be regarded as their best work. The adoring public will begin to notice slight idiosyncracyies in the star's behavior but will ignore it as it pales in comparison to the star's blinding talent.
Phase 4: Decline. Ages 33-50.
Star takes some time off, starts a family (or has someone start it for him). Without the star's chosen profession taking up all of their time the slight idiosyncracies grow in size and can no longer be ignored. This results in poor career choices, drugs, trouble with the law, significant weight gain, infidelity, bankruptcy, plastic surgeries and is always followed by a comeback of sorts since the star's production had dropped off considerably. The "comeback" album(s) are good but not great but with each successive one, the pattern of decline becomes more and more noticeable.
Phase 5: The Exit. Ages 50-65.
Star now falls somewhere in between the two categories of "Not Right In The Head" and "Full-Blown Reclusive Nut Job." Depending on where they fall on that scale will determine how quickly they die, either by their own hand or some one else's. The Exit is the final step in building a legacy for two reasons. 1. No matter how weird they were, now that they are dead no one can talk bad about them. 2. Their stuff, which used to be worth relatively little, is now worth a fortune, there by helping to support a cottage industry. If your death does not sprout a cottage industry, you weren't famous enough.
It has to happen this way. MJ was on the borderline between Phase 4 and Phase 5. Nothing could be done. Go listen to Thriller and try to pretend that was the last album he ever put out because after that, it was all down hill. But realize this: without Phases 4 and 5, MJ would not be nearly as famous. If he had been killed after Thriller, he'd still be praised as a musical genius but it was all the other isht that made him so famous.
Good god, you are on a roll. I guess when you think about in those terms, MJ should have died about 10 years ago, but I forgot to mention the other part to all of this that I love - the trainwreck. I enjoyed his total craziness (not so much the pedophilia) but Bubbles, bleaching, air chambers and ranches to name a few. But, you make excellent points, Freshy. I guess it's amazing that he made it this far. Unless he just wanted to move back to Gary, quit bleaching himself and start eating Hardee's. See you at Krazy Kaplan's, MJ!