August 2006 Archives

This is overdue. Today, let's learn about the glorious cult, yes cult, called Scientology. One hears about these assheads all the time - you know, the Cruise and Travolta, but what is Scientology all about, C$?

Well, it's complicated. But the short of it is rather scary and prolly safe to assume that the Cruise doesn't want you to know. Here goes:

Scientology was started in the 1950s by a science fiction writer named L. Ron Hubbard. Scientology is an offshoot to a method of psychotherapy L. Ron concocted from various sources which he named "Dianetics". Dianetics is a form of regression therapy. It was then further expanded to appear more like a religion in order to enjoy tax benefits.

Keep reading, it gets a bit more twisted...

Basically, the more chedda you pay said assheads, the higher you climb in the asshead hierarchy.

The highest level, OT VIII, is only disclosed at sea, on the Scientology cruise ship Freewinds. Because Scientology is a mystery religion, the more closely guarded and esoteric teachings imparted at these higher levels may not always be entirely consistent with its entry-level teachings. In other words, you might hear the story of Xenu and his Galactic Confederacy.

Scientologists argue that published accounts of the Xenu story and other colorful teachings are presented out of context for the purpose of ridiculing their religion.

Scientology's doctrines famously include the story of Xenu, the ruler of the Galactic Confederacy who brought billions of frozen people to Earth 75 million years ago, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs, creating swarms of disembodied alien souls known as Body Thetans.

According to Scientologists, there are a few thousand clusters of these confused souls now in all of our bodies. The Church of Scientology has cleverly figured out a way to get rid of these alien cooties. You can pay them a lot of money.

So there you go. Delicious Katie Holmes has been sucked it Xenu's vortex - never to return. Let's listen to some heavenly music to repel Xenu, shall we? Here is Magnet with "Lay, Lady Lay" and Clark with "Vengeance Drools."

I realize I have been neglectful of my c101 duties. How can I continue to educate the masses if I don't deliver a lesson on a regular basis? I'll answer that - I can't. But, every day is a chance to start anew. And even though the loyal seven is prolly down to three because of my neglect, I ain't mindin' none.

Rather than tackle the issues I illustrated in my last email (I will get to those topics, don't fret) I will address my sojourn to the Big Easy. Sure, I got drunk and wandered aimlessly around Bourbon Street, but I expected that. That's what I do sometimes. Which is nice.

What I didn't expect was the devastation that still exists in the surrounding communities. I wrote about this way back when. Well, it's god awful down there and I have provided some pictures to prove that obviously the situation is still quite shitty south of the mason dixon line. What the pictures don't show, is that the devastation and I don't use the word devastation lightly. The devastation stretches far and wide - we are talking neighborhood after neighborhood. These photos were taken in the Lakeview section of New Orleans, a town that was ground zero regarding the break in the levy. You can see the yellow water line left on the houses - 'bout 10 feet.

I have heard that the 9th Ward (low-income housing) was hit even harder. Thus, our friend Spike Lee produced and directed a documentary to air this month on HBO - detailing the destruction and abandonment issues that the predominantly black community experienced. So, where does the fault lie? I am not sure. If I were black, poor and living in the 9th Ward, I might wonder what the f happened. Where's my government? Don't I live in the most prosperous nation on the earth? I am not saying you should put me in a mansion, but damn. Or maybe I am a whitey, not poor, but sure as hell not rich and living in Chicago and I might wonder what the f happened. No matter how you slice it, a neighborhood shouldn't look like this one year after the fact.

By the by, Dr. Sadens released a mad good mix as part of the ongoing greatness that is the Athens Freaky Mix Exchange. Here's two of my initial favs. Diverse featuring Prefuse 73 "Just Biz" and People Under the Stairs,"Acid Raindrops". Werd to you and yours. As soon as I figure out the HTML code. So, the music will have to wait a day. Thanks RFO, we are back in business.

c101 is on vacation. To New Orleans. Don't fret, upon return, batteries will be recharged and wonderful writings will ensue. I think I will tackle such topics as Scientology, Roshomon, chips in zee brains, horniness as it is related to the sun and much more. I know you can't wait loyal readers, but you must. I will be tripping the light fantastic in the French Quarter doing durty things in the filthy durty south. I'm the number one stunna.