April 2006 Archives

Sorry, the Deros had me in their dungeon all week. I can't tell you the details, because they are listening...they are always listening. Still, they said I could keep writing, as long as they approved of the content. I found out that Dero's like lists - strange lists with fun facts. So, they gave me a book entitled "The Book of Lists" published in 1977 - they live underground, after all. Anyway, here's one:

Six Positions for Sexual Intercourse - in order of preference from Alfred C. Kinsey's reports compiled in 1948 and 1953. This will be a two-part series - please enjoy the first three.

1. Man on Top - "To many Americans, this is the only position considered biologically 'natural'." Huh? It goes on to list advantages and disadvantage's. Some of the disadvantages, "it does not allow for good control of the premature ejaculator or freedom of movement for the woman." Who wouldn't want their girlie to have plenty of freedom of movement?

2. Woman on Top - This was frequently used by 45 percent of married females. Advantages include most often results in orgasm for women and good when the man is tired. Precious.

3. Side by Side - From Ovid "Of loves thousand ways, a simple way and with least labor, this is : to lie on the right side and half supine withal.' Ah yeah. This allows manipulation of the female 'love button' good for tired or convalescent people and premature ejaculators. Those poor premature ejactulators.

Anyway, here are two great songs off the newest disc from the Athens Freaky Mix Exchange, Miss Jessica Squire's "My Little Corner of the World." Here is "(Do you Wanna) Come Walk with Me" by Isobell Campbell and Mark Lanegan and "Postage Stamp World" by Roguewave.

As promised, we are going to delve into the very deranged and odd world of Richard Shaver (b.1907-d.1975). Richie dies in the year of the rabbit, which is the luckiest of all signs. People born in the year of the rabbit are articulate and have excellent taste. Those that die in the year of the rabbit are apparently insane.

Anyway, Shaver's first brush with notoriety came in the years following World War II as the author of controversial stories which were printed in science fiction magazines, (primarily Amazing Stories). The controversy stemmed from the fact that Shaver and his editor/publisher Ray Palmer claimed Shaver's writings, while presented in the guise of fiction, were fundamentally true.

Yikes. Seems Shaver first started to lose (or gain?) touch while he was working at an auto factory. Lord knows assembly line work is enough to force any man's cage to be rattled.

Little Dicky began to notice that one of the welding guns on his job site, 'by some freak of its coil's field atunements,' was allowing him to read the thoughts of the men working around him. More frighteningly, he then picked up the telepathic record of a torture session conducted by malign entities in caverns deep within the earth.

Me oh my.

The "Shaver Mystery" did not officially begin until 1943 when Shaver wrote a letter to Amazing. He claimed to have uncovered an ancient language he called "Mantog" which was the source of all Earthly language. In Mantog, each sound had a hidden meaning, and by applying this formula to any word in any language, one could decode a secret meaning to any word, name or phrase. Palmer applied the Mantog formula to several words, and said he realized Shaver was on to something.

Palmer wrote to Shaver, asking how he had learned of Mantog. Shaver responded with a 10,000 word document entitled "A Warning to Future Man." Shaver wrote of tremendously advanced prehistoric races who had built cavern cities inside Earth before abandoning Earth for another planet. Those ancients also abandoned some of their own diseased offspring here, who degenerated over time into a population of mentally impaired sadists known as Dero - short for detrimental robots.

These Dero still lived in the cave cities, according to Shaver, kidnapping surface-dwelling people by the thousand's for meat and using the fantastic "ray" machines that the great ancient races left behind to project tormenting thoughts and voices into our minds. Shaver claimed first-hand knowledge of the Dero and their caves, insisting he had been a prisoner for several years.

The relative success of "The Shaver Mystery" in acquiring adherents from science fiction may have influenced L. Ron Hubbard to invent Dianetics (this explains Tom Cruise=Dero) and promote it via SF magazines. The Japanese horror movie Marebito (As reviewed on c101), also references Shaver's work and the Deros.

There is reported to be an obscure connection between the Shaver Mystery and the German Thule Society. I could go on. And on. There's a lot here kiddies, just know that there are Deros living beneath you as we speak and they are watching every move you make and they want nothing more to brainwash you and then eat you.

On that note, let's rok Gorilaz "Kids with Guns" and "Smile Around the Face" by Four Tet, well, because my main man Tricky Dicky prolly had Deros smiling at him all the time.

Sorry about the lack of writing my loyal seven, all work and no posts makes C$ a terrible blogger. And while I am working on a significant post for Friday, I want to show some of the greatness I have found on the Internets lately.

First, let's look to our left? Could that be...? Nah, surely you jest C$? Nope. It's a cock. Or it's a Gatorade bottle. Seems the marketing genius' over there had me drinking their salty fluid out of a cock-shaped bottle for two score and I never knew. Until now. Check out our girlie below as if you needed more proof. One questions how observant one truly is during times like these, doesn't one?

Second, how about some cool techie stuff? This isht is rather impressive, with my favorite being the lips or the head bath cap - what a pain in the neck it is to wash my hair. Not anymore, thanks to head cap! Brief safe is just plain nasty.

Last, let's watch two Dutch girls lip sync. Though they are still not as good as the grand champions (in my book) here.

OK, so stay tuned for Friday, Jesus gave me the day off, so that means I can post things about schizophrenics in detail. Thank you Jesus!

Oh yeah, how about we rok some King Floyd "Groove Me" the King just died and that is a shame, good thing he left one of the greatest soul records of all time. And how about some Spank Rock, I am going to see him next week for $10, I will have a pleasurable review then. In the meantime, here is "Gutta Music" Enjoy.

As the sun shone bright on my face through the Blue Line train windows this morning, I gots to thinking. Yeah RFO, it's one of those existential posts. First, let's bring back the death clock - I know y'all missed it. Find out when ya gonna cash in your chips kiddies right hrrrr.

Along with perception, I often think about how much time I spend (in no particular order, but be assured that some items listed are more important to C$ than others) thinking bout, music, sweet lovin', not gettin' enough sleep, the world cup, the Tribe and blog posts. Lord knows the list is longer, but I am too tired to think of more. It all boils down to one simple fact - there is so much to learn in this world and we get about five minutes to learn it - not fair.

I suppose this thought is both disheartening and yet, provides buoyancy. But, really C$, why you having these thoughts? Simple.

Tony is still recovering in the hospital, but he is getting back to his old self after Junior's senility resulted in a shot to T's belly. Still, Tony's brush with the other side has him stewing and searching for some previously unsought answers. We underestimate the wind and what it teaches, this much I already knew, but Tony had to learn this lesson.

Plus, upon watching a fight he learns from a wizened old fella that boxing is a metaphor for all of us and this thing we call life. And then a new idea was introduced to C$. At least in a way he could wrap his head around. Oh my. The old fella supposed that the fighters are not opposed - this proposes a duality in the world that I had previously clung to in order to explain the ways things works. It's a comfy theory. But the old fella likened the fighter to two tornado's - combined energy - that's us - and everything else in the world.

Hmmm...Everything is everything... said another dood in the room. Could be? Hell maybe it's both - duality and energy and dark expansion (pictured) all wrapped up into a Cannoli. Chew on it and lemme know.

In the meantime rok and I do stress ROK Spektrum's "Horny Pony" I like this track so much I wanted to keep it all to myself, but I am a sharer. There is no other track today, this one stands alone.