Anybody out there watch Fox's genius show "Trading Spouses?" I hope so, because you are going to like this post. The producers of the show thought it would be funny to pit a holy roller from the south against a New England liberal. And while I only managed to see the startling conclusion, I know I saw the best part.
A little background - Chris and Jeanne were the New England liberals and Marguerite Perin was said big, dumpy mess of a holy roller. After her return to her own family, Marguerite proceeded to regale her family with tales of the "dark-sided" New Englander's and how she was a "warrior for God."
So, today I thought I would visit Fox's message boards and see what the masses had to say. Sad part is, there were many empathising with Big M's plight. Shoot me now, please. Then to my awe, I found that God also pays attention to the message boards and had this to say...
Dear Chris and Jeanne and children,
Please note I wish to apologize on behalf of myself, my trinity and my staff here in heaven for any anxiety, stress, social embarrassment and damage to the struts and shocks of your family vehicle caused by our warrior, Marguerite Perin.
Based on her actions, we have suspended her pearly-gate pass and have sanctioned her. If, however, she completes a Louisiana state certified psychological assessment and follows the recommended treatment, we will allow her to attend one of our houses of worship. Perhaps.
Until then, we have stressed to her that she not appear in any of our 10 million franchise locations. Also, if you have any sustained damage to your furniture or load bearing beams in your home, as well as the above mentioned vehicle, please submit damage estimates to our billing department for reimbursement.
In addition, we would like to offer your family one additional 24 hour summer solstice special for next year. Your solstice will last 48 hours. We will also provide soft warm breezes and a spectacular sun rise and sun set for your enjoyment, as well as a cloudless starry night.
Again, we apologize for this unfortunate event. Please be assured if Ms. Perrin contacts you again, we will immediately zap her with a lightening bolt.
Sincerely Yours,
God Almighty
P.S. - Did you know I love to rok Cypress Hill's "How I Can Just Kill a Man" and Jay-Z's "99 problems?" Well, I do.
How I Can Just Kill a Man
99 Problems
Who do you think Big M voted for in the 2004 election? Do you think that was the first time she'd left a red state? God, I wish hurricane Katrina had taken care of her ass.
I saw part 1 of this 2 part epic. This lady was one of the craziest people I have ever seen, but damn if she didn't have a sweet ass. I could hibernate up in that thing all winter long and sleep like a littly baby bear.
It would have taken the whole alphabet of 'canes to take care of her ass. I tried to watch some of 1 & 2 but lasted only minutes on both. C$, what were you doing watching FOX?
Didn't you know, Dale? I'm dark sided.
C$, are you a sith Lord? My favorite bad guy was Count Duku, because it souds alot like Count Poo-poo. Or when you say that you're dark sided, do you mean like the dark side from "Eddie and the Cruisers." Words and music Wordman. Words and music.
I just found this. I'm counting on this movie changing my life. I am not at all computer savvy, so if this doesn't work I apologize. I just really have no idea what I'm doing.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0283054/...
[6] Oh. My. God.
Paul Giamatti, no wondering nobody respects you.
Did you see the quote on that link? It's soooo Furbs:
"You've got a heart of gold. You've got the constitution of an ox. And you've got pants... of thunder."
DAMN, that bitch is crazy. Entertaining, yes, but scary, scary, scary. did you see the very end, where, after making such a big deal about rebuking the new agers, and rebuking the money, upon further consideration, she decided to keep the money (a lot of it was earmarked for her to get gastric bypass surgery). Hypocrite. It was interesting to see bush's base acting all insane up on fox, but it sounds like the irony was lost, lost, lost. That, my dear, is america.
she's so hot.
you would think so, bone - nasty boy
I am so happy you all enjoyed Miss Darksided as I did? Sweet Jebus. I am praying for all of you. NOW, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!