Get Me Some Tang

This place is dead, yo! Time for a quick fix. Like when sitcoms add a cute blonde kid in the waning years of an already tired show just to squeeze out six more episodes before they get cancelled. Or when the child star who used to be the cute blonde kid is now a teenager but partying like he is in his mid-twenties with a liver that looks like its forty and a death wish to match that of a bed ridden eighty year old. So the writers bring in a newer, younger, cuter version of the first child star to help boost ratings and take attention away from Druggy McBinge Alot but that just sends him over the edge and they find his rotting, bloated body in a dumpster somewhere on the Strip, full of drugs and riddled with STDs. That scenario is a bit extreme and it probably won't happen at eLarceny (right C$?) but I am here to introduce you to some new blood. So put your hand together and welcome Slue Foot Jon, eLarceny's new sports blogger. Slue Foot will take up residence over at the Tang Sports Report.I hope that all six of our readers will show him all the love and respect he deserves (i.e. “Yo Momma” jokes and vague innuendo).Go get ‘em Slue Foot.