The Origins of a Music Snob

I have a confession to make. I’m a nerd, I live in the Midwest and the band that ultimately turned me on to rock and roll was Rush. Specifically, Rush’s 1992 Juno award winning album Roll the Bones. It’s not their best album (i.e. Moving Pictures or 2112) but it’s certainly not their worst (i.e. everything they released during the 1980s). Roll the Bones holds a special, sentimental place in my heart and can evoke sickening waves of nostalgia that send me spinning back to my awkward youth at the very first guitar lick from Alex Lifeson, drum roll of Neil Peart and girlish screech of Geddy Lee.

Here’s another confession. I know all of the lyrics to all of the songs on Roll the Bones. I might even post some karaoke just to prove my point.

This post really isn’t going anywhere. I was just digging through my musical past for some laughs. But I’m sure you can all relate.

Here’s the real contest:
It’s haiku time! Drop a 5-7-5 syllabled poem on the first album you bought or a pivotal yet embarrassing musical moment from your past. Winner gets the coveted button with your choice of slogans:

“Jack – Relax. Get Busy with the Facts”

“I [heart] Rush”

“Haikus Make Me Horny”

“I Used to Have Bad Taste in Music.”

Sample: From Rush’s Roll the Bones “Dreamline” and “Roll the Bones”

Lyrics to “Roll the Bones”

Well, you can stake that claim
Good work is the key to good fortune
Winners take that praise
Losers seldom take that blame
If they don’t take that game
And sometimes the winner takes nothing
We draw our own designs
But fortune has to make that frame

We go out in the world and take our chances
Fate is just the weight of circumstances
That’s the way that lady luck dances
Roll the bones

Why are we here?
Because we’re here
Roll the bones
Why does it happen?
Because it happens
Roll the bones

Faith is cold as ice --
Why are little ones born only to suffer
For the want of immunity
Or a bowl of rice?
Well, who would hold a price
On the heads of the innocent children
If there’s some immortal power
To control the dice?

We come into the world and take our chances
Fate is just the weight of circumstances
That’s the way that lady luck dances
Roll the bones

Jack -- relax.
Get busy with the facts.
No zodiacs or almanacs,
No maniacs in polyester slacks.
Just the facts.
Gonna kick some gluteus max.
It’s a parallax -- you dig?
You move around
The small gets big. it’s a rig.
It’s action -- reaction --
Random interaction.
So who’s afraid
Of a little abstraction?
Can’t get no satisfaction
From the facts?
You better run, homeboy --
A fact’s a fact
From nome to rome, boy.

What’s the deal? spin the wheel.
If the dice are hot -- take a shot.
Play your cards. show us what you got --
What you’re holding.
If the cards are cold,
Don’t go folding.
Lady luck is golden;
She favors the bold. that’s cold.
Stop throwing stones --
The night has a thousand saxophones.
So get out there and rock,
And roll the bones.
Get busy!