Today I hit a chipmunk with my sandal. *POW* Adidas slip-on straight to the head.
Seriously. Ok, let me back up. I didn’t give much thought to these little rodents until I purchased property. If you don’t own property in the suburbs or the country, you may never know the destructive force of a chipmunk. They like to tunnel, a lot. This tunneling ruins foundations, sidewalks, lawns, etc. All of which is expensive to repair. So, on several occasions, I've tried to get rid of him. I’ve filled his holes with concrete, tried to drown him - everything short of setting out a traps or using the trusty 12 gauge.
Anyway, I clocked him good with my sandal. Probably more luck then anything else. I either stunned or crippled him but as I was trying to coral him into a bucket, he up and disappeared. I’ve been thinking about this chipmunk all night . . . caught myself feeling bad once or twice for hurting the little SOB. But, them’s the brakes, I guess. Either smack with the sandal or be smacked yourself.
On a related note, and with out the slightest bit or irony, I would like to remind everybody of those suffering in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. And while the human toll is devastating, there are thousands of untold animals, nay – furry family members, who are suffering as well. I know many of you are pet owners or have had a pet at one time and can attest to the warmth and joy they bring into your life. If you would like to help, please consider donating to the Human Society.
I know, I know, before you get your panties in a bunch about me harming one of God’s creatures but asking you to help others, please let me remind you that 1) there is a very good possibility that I am a complete hypocrite 2) not all of God's creatures were created equal (just look at that messed up platypus) and 3) as far as I’m concerned all chipmunks can go to hell.
Stuff to Sample: In recognition of my botched assassination attempt, Echo and the Bunnymen's "The Killing Moon"
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